In
the past year, my view on the Kingdom of God has changed even more. I don’t
know how to specifically state it in words. I find that words don’t really work
any longer. I spend time with Papa God. I listen to what He is saying through
scripture. I go through the veil into heaven and “have a little talk with
Jesus”.
Let
me explain, before you think I’m completely bonkers. When I pray, this is an intimate time I have
with Papa God. I sense His presence with me as I talk with him. I have gained a
deeper relationship with the Three-in-One over the last decade and more so over
the past 4 years. It is a special time
for me, because I journal what transpires.
Usually,
when I journal I begin with: “Papa what is on your heart today?” I then wait for an answer. In the beginning,
I would sit and wait sometimes 20 minutes.
During that time-period I think my spirit-man was trying to get through
to me, but was having difficult time. I
had to train myself, so to speak, to listen and hear/perceive what God was
trying to tell me. What I learned from
that is He speaks in so many ways, that is not in English! He does, however speak in love and gentleness.
There is no condemnation whatsoever. Over time, when I ask what is on His
heart, the response is almost immediate. That means, immediately I have a
perception of what is being told to me. Not audible, but in pictures. I guess
it is more of a “knowing”. In fact, I have difficulty sometimes getting our
conversations down, because the response to my question come fast and
furiously. I have learned to “hear” or maybe understand His voice from my
voice. It takes practice, but well worth it.
I
went through a time this past Spring where my soul was not doing well. I couldn’t figure it out. I would try and
journal and talk with Papa, and got nowhere. It was like being on a desert
island with my soul and it was cranky and upset. In fact, at times, my soul
seemed to be vomiting all over. Junk from the past was coming to the surface. It was hard for me to be patient with myself.
I knew that God was taking me deeper into relationship with Him, and my spirit
was excited to just go. My soul, however,
was not so thrilled. Still a lot of old
thought patterns and junk was hindering me from going forward.
So,
one day, I had this brilliant idea to ask my soul what was going on. What was revealed to me was my poor soul
wasn’t all onboard with what my spirit was learning. Soul just hadn’t caught up yet, so because of
that turmoil it forced me to sit in quietness with Papa. I needed to allow my soul to feel safe and loved. I know it sounds weird, but that’s exactly
what I needed to do. I’m sure there are
other words for it, but that is what transpired prior to the following experience.
Now,
about my “little talk with Jesus”. I had a general question about when Jesus had
been baptized, by his cousin John. At that point, for the first time ever, I
was literally thrown into a vision where I was standing by the River Jordan
along the bank. There were people scattered around on the banks of the river talking
and watching. John was in the middle of the river. I just knew that the person
in the middle of the river was John. It was a “knowing”. I sensed movement on the opposite side of the river.
I looked up and saw Jesus come down to the river. He was headed directly to John. He waded in
and moved around the people just to get in line where John was standing. I was quite mesmerized by the whole thing. I couldn’t
hear what their personal conversation was, and at that time, I didn’t care to.
I just watched. It was amazing. When Jesus came up out of the water, I did hear
a thunder-like voice. I did see a dove fly down from somewhere onto Jesus’
shoulder. There, the dove remained on his shoulder as he walked out of the
river up the bank to sit and dry off. Now the dove was still perched on his
shoulder. It didn’t move off. I thought that was curious. Jesus then turned and
looked directly at me. He smiled and winked.
I thought, “does Jesus actually see me?” As soon as I thought that, Jesus turns to me
and asks me what I thought about the baptism. I was really startled, but I took
a deep breath. I let myself go with the flow and just interacted with him in
conversation. There were others mingling
around listening. It was strange, but
powerful. I was in a living scene of
history with Jesus! I was having “just a little talk with Jesus” after His baptism.
It was surreal yet, vivid with all the color, smells and all the other sensory
inputs one has.
That
was a unique experience. I may ask about another time and see what
happens. I’m a curious person, so this
is up my alley.
