I
find myself at a “stall” point in my life and not sure why. Well, maybe I do
know: I am seeking more of the Creator God with whom I have a wonderful
relationship. I sense, however, being called to deeper waters of that
relationship. I previously thought I was in deep waters. Now as I look – what
do you know - I’m still in the shallow part.
I
want to learn how to surf the deep and dive in and just be in the deep. I’m struggling - not drowning - but I can’t
seem to settle my inner most self. I am antsy and unrest. It’s a need for more. Maybe there is in my spirit a knowing of that
more and I just haven’t figured it out yet.
It’s a need to be able to just go somewhere – no cars, no technology, no
people – to be able to scream and primordial scream from the very depths of my
soul. It’s a cleansing of sorts.
Yes,
a pure cleansing is what I am seeking. I don’t mean just a cleanse for my body,
though I know I need that, but a deeper cleansing; deeper into my soul and my
spirit. Going deeper still into the very core of my DNA. Can that happen
God? If so, I am asking for this.
How
can I be a son/daughter of the True High King and not be cleansed? I know I
have been forgiven of sin. That isn’t the issue. So, I sit here and write out
whatever comes to my mind wrestling like Jacob at Bethel. But unlike Jacob, I
wish to stay at Bethel. Where is
Bethel? The place of an open Heaven,
where the angels are ascending and descending to and from Heaven, where is that
place?
From
what I understand, I carry an open Heaven with me 24/7. I know this for a fact: Jesus died, was
resurrected, descended into Hell and ascended to Heaven. He sits at the right
hand of the Father on the throne as the Son of God, the only begotten of the
Father who is in Himself, God. His Holy Spirit lives inside me, thus God dwells
or rather tabernacles within my being. In that case, I carry an open Heaven
with me all the time. Ah, but the catch is this: Do I manifest His
Presence? If I do, then I carry Bethel
with me, it is not just a place.
Practically
then, how do I live this? Ah, that’s the
other catch. Learning to be “present” with the “Presence” is key. Not every
believer knows this. In fact, a lot have not truly experienced His
Presence. Sadly, they miss out on quite
a lot in their relationship with the Father.
In
order for us to have a relationship with anyone or even anything, there is
emotion attached. It was there when you met your spouse or with family and
friends. It is also God given, so that we can relate in an emotional way to our
Father in Heaven. Yup, being a believer for over 45 years, I am truly “in love”
with my Father in Heaven. I sense His touch at times and it overwhelms me. I
have heard His voice and it was like hearing the sweetness of a lover. I have
conversations with Him as I journal. He is real. He is living and breathing on
each one of us, because He loves us. I crave just the time to be with Him.
My
heart aches for you to just be wooed by God. He does this gently and with
respect to you. He woos us to Himself. He will never force himself on us.
There’s a quiet wooing calling to us. If we actually stopped for a time and
listened, we can hear that call.
You
see, God created us to be free, independent and loving beings. We were the ones
that messed that all up by disobeying in the Garden. God created us with free
will. That was a gift to Mankind/Adam. Free - Will. Free: to be the person we were created to be as well
as having the opportunity to choose good or evil. Will: to make a decision whether right or wrong on
our own.
Think
about that. Our Creator, God, created us and breathed life into us and to be
with Him for eternity; to partner with Him in the Kingdom here on earth. What a
wonderful life! Can you imagine: to be in the very presence of God, to walk
with Him daily, having conversations with Him, to be loved beyond anything we
can imagine. What a beautiful life - being stewards of the earth and the
creatures on it.
That
relationship, unfortunately, has been broken. When Eve listened to another,
other than God, she and Adam disobeyed what God had asked and brought Eden out
of our reach. Not only did they give away their Key of Authority they had in
the Garden, they broke the Love covenant between themselves and God. This was
the Great Divorce: to be exiled from the Garden of Eden – away from the very
presence of God.
Divorce
hurts both parties. I have friends who either have gone through divorce or have
parents who have. To be very blunt, it sucks.
Words of anger and hurt are thrown back and forth at each other. Pride,
mistrust and fear enter into their lives. Poor communication inhabits the
relationship. What started out to be a
wonderful, loving relationship ends - ugly.
The
Great Divorce was like this – only it was man who backed out of the Love covenant.
When God went looking for Adam and Eve in the Garden, after eating the apple, I
wonder - if Adam and Eve had only said, “God, here we are. But we ate from the
Tree of Good and Evil. We know you told us not to. Please forgive us for doing
that.” What do you think God would have
done? I’m not sure, but if His nature is
to be loving, kind and just, He may have forgiven them.
BUT
– Adam and Eve did not. They hid from God. They did not repent and Pride raised
its ugly head.
So,
God exiled Adam and Eve as well as the rest of their descendants out of the
Garden. Man is cursed to toil in his
labors and women in child bearing. Adam and Eve were escorted out and God shut
the Garden gate and left it guarded by angels, so they could not return.
That
disobedience has affected our relationships since then. But God, in his
extravagant love, sent Jesus – His one and only Son – to come to earth to
restore that relationship. Amazing,
don’t you think? God the Creator of all
on this earth and the universe loved us that much.
Jesus’
assignment from the Father: Go to earth. Leave your divinity behind. Be born of
a woman. Grow up as a human being, but live sinless. Teach a bunch of regular
guys how to live in the Kingdom of God. Show them how it’s done; mentor them,
and love them, so that you can die a cruel death on a cross. You must die
without sin in your life, in order to go to the depths of hell and bring back
the Keys of Authority that Adam gave away when he disobeyed Me in the Garden.
Once that is accomplished, show them what they must do to spread the Kingdom.
Then, you will return to Heaven and sit at the right hand of your Father.
This
is True Love: that God would sacrifice His only Son just to bring us back into
a relationship with Him. He missed us!
Like a lover waiting ever so long to see the one they love. To be able to see
them, touch them and talk with them; beginning once again, where the
relationship left off - only building on it in a vastly deeper way.
Here
then begins the journey: the journey in a love relationship with the Creator of
the Universe.
