Where Did You Go?

Over the last couple of years, I have been asking Papa God how Philip got “snatched” up by the Spirit of the Lord and carried away to the city of Ashdod. This is recounted in Acts 8:39:

 “When they came up out of the water, Philip was suddenly snatched up by the Spirit of the Lord and instantly carried away to the city of Ashdod where he reappeared, preaching the gospel in that city. The man never saw Philip again. He returned to Ethiopia full of great joy. Philip, however, traveled on to all of the towns of that region, bringing them the good news, until he arrived a Caesarea.”

Isn’t that interesting! Philip had just been explaining a portion of scripture from the Book of Isaiah to the Ethiopian. Holy Spirit had said to Philip, “Go and walk alongside the chariot.” So, Philip caught up and walked alongside. He then casually asked the Ethiopian man if he understood what he had been reading.  The man responded that he could not unless someone explained it to him. Philip was then invited up into the chariot to explain about the “lamb that was offered”, which of course was Jesus.

At that point, the Ethiopian man wanted to be baptized immediately. He suggested a pool of water that was present. He stopped the chariot. They went down and Philip baptized him. Here is where it gets interesting.

“When they came up out of the water, Philip was suddenly snatched up by the Spirit of the Lord and instantly carried away to the city of Ashdod, where he reappeared, preaching the gospel in that city.”

After that he continued telling people about Jesus.

Now, because I am such a curious person, I have wondered how that happened.  No pat answers for this girl. I do see a pattern. Someone had a need.  The Ethiopian man was probably wishing he had someone to explain that passage in Isaiah. Probably he was scratching his head because he was so flummoxed. I think I would have been as well!

I also, see that Philip was available. So the Holy Spirit gave him the go-ahead that led into the conversation.

I see the response of the Ethiopian man.  He saw the truth because he was digging for the answer. Thus, he was ripe for Holy Spirit’s revelation to his spirit.

I see the response for baptism. The desire the Ethiopian man had to be counted as a believer and follower of the Anointed One. And Philip’s obedience to baptize him.

Once all of that was finished. The immediate need was completed. Philip was released and then taken to a totally different city in the region via the spirit transporting him.

I have known that my spirit man travels all the time, especially when I am sleeping. I give my spirit man permission to learn from the Seven Spirits of God and to be available for whatever the need may be that Jesus would want me to do for the Kingdom.  I tell my soul to rest but be receptive to what my spirit man is doing. I tell my body to sleep and be restored.

I have done this for at least two full years fairly consistently.  In doing so, my spirit man has gone and done a lot of different things in many different places. I remember waking up, after about a week of doing this, thinking I had dreamt of being somewhere in a jungle. I was helping someone find their way back to a village because they were being hunted down for some reason. I just knew I had to help them get to the village.  Of course, I have no idea where this village is, nor did I speak their language, but we communicated.  I remember tripping on a branch or vine of some sort and falling. I hurt my knee, but we kept forging through the forest area.  Once I got her to the village, I left.

What a fantastical dream I thought.  Then I got out of bed. I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth then take a shower. My knee hurt. I didn’t think much of it until I was in the shower and the hot water got on it.  Ouch!  I looked down and I had a scraped knee!  I stood there in the shower for a good 5 minutes wondering how I got that scraped knee.  Then it occurred to me that in my dream I had tripped and fell and scraped my knee.  What the…? Oh My Gosh!  I went somewhere. I never noticed what I was wearing in my “dream”. I just knew I was there to help someone.  

So, whether you believe it or not, it doesn’t matter. I was available. There was a need. I helped out. When the task was completed, I left.  Just like Philip.

A most recent experience was about a week ago, only this time it was different.  I got up on Sunday morning and got ready for church service. Jim got ready and then he said the strangest thing: “Where were you last night? You weren’t in bed. Your side was like all made.” I looked at him and said, “I was sound asleep next to you until I woke up this morning.” “No, you weren’t”. I checked. You weren’t in the apartment.”

My head spun. I knew that I had gone to bed. I did my nighttime declarations. I fell asleep and awoke in the morning.  I  realized that my sleep seemed really deep and I was feeling pretty fresh.  But I didn’t have any recollection of going anywhere or doing anything. Apparently, my whole person went somewhere. (No, I don’t sleepwalk.)  I have been asking Papa what went on but I have not received any answer. I just trust He will tell me if I need to know.

Why am I sharing this?  Mostly because people need to know this is happening and not to be scared of it. The deeper I delve into my relationship with Jesus I believe the more “off the grid” stuff is going to happen. Am I ready for it?  I think I am. So where to next, Papa?

My Journey Going Deeper

When I began "my journey off the tracks" from religion, I could not imagine what that would look like.  A person prepares for a journey. You make a list and check it twice just so you don’t forget something.  Especially, when taking a long journey to an unknown place, you what to be prepared, right?  Well, let me just say that preparing for a deeper relationship with the Creator is not your normal journey!

In May of 2017, I wrote in my journal:

“Up until now, I never realized that my spirit has been so far ahead of my soul. My soul is not sure what to make of the “stuff” I am experiencing in the spirit realm. New ideas and far out there off the grid “stuff”. I’ve been “off the grid” for a while but never thought that my dear soul was having such issues.

 Working through my spirit, soul, and body gateways, while mentoring/teaching is also a journey. It is not just a process.  I think that’s one thing I am learning. It’s all a journey. There are processes along the way to help us along.

Transformation is hard. Why? Well, you have to go through ALL the baggage you have carried your whole life and take care of it. This means letting go of:

Bitterness and forgiving. Looking at circumstances or situations where I have said yes to the enemy and no to God. Own it and then allow Papa God to restore. Yes, some of that is what people call “soul issues” but it is because I allowed the soul to be in charge and not my spirit-man.

I’m also learning to “Bless my Spirit” to be who she should be. To remember her identity and purpose for being here. If my spirit-man is working fully then m soul can be at rest. There is no striving, just being. And that makes sense since we are “Human-Beings and not Human-Doings”. If you’d like some help with this, I suggest reading Sylvia Gunter & Arthur Burk’s book “Blessing your Spirit”. You can find it on Amazon.

There is also seeing and acknowledging where I have traded with the enemy.  This has been difficult because of some of the “tendencies” are generational. So, that means working closely with Papa God and working through that. Papa shows me where the trade happened, with whom and what was traded. Now, this can be an eye-opener. Though ugly at times, it is definitely freeing.

Where to start? Well, the easiest and yet most difficult is at the beginning of my life. Yup, all the way back to my conception.

You see, I am adopted.  From what I have gathered without any DNA testing, my birth mother got pregnant out of wedlock either in her late teens or early 20’s in the mid-1950s. That was totally taboo being single and pregnant. So, typically, the person would either adopt out or have an abortion (which was illegal then and not safe at all). I don’t know if she consented or not. But I have the sense she was “in love”. However, the realization of being with child was scary for her. She had to give me up.

This of course, leaves me with questions. Where is she? Who is she?  Who is my birth father? Did he know about me? Are these people still living or are they dead now?

What did my birth parents enjoy doing? Did they sing? Were they artistic in any way? I want to know where I got my artistic abilities. Did God just give them to me, or did I inherit them? Questions… I have had them for a very long time but never had the impetus to find out. I am curious though.  I have always been a curious person.

My Mom and Dad told me at a very early age that “I was chosen” for them. They chose me to be their daughter. They loved me unconditionally, even when I failed to meet their expectations. They treated me with love and discipline so that I would grow up and mature as an adult. I think they did a very good job.

I have a greater sense that God placed me with them specifically. These two individuals had so much love for each other and me and my three sisters who were also adopted.  Together Mom and Dad reflected God’s loving image to me. I miss them very much.

So, my transformation process/journey has also been sweet. It’s going back and seeing those beautiful moments of growth over the years. The remembrance of the little things that actually have made a huge difference in where I am today.”

I encourage anyone reading this, to step before the Father and ask him to begin the transformation process in your life.  Like I said, it is not easy and at times ugly, but the healing that comes from that process makes the journey even sweeter as you step more into the deep with God.

The Black Cloud – Part 2: The Set Up

This took place in 2016 during a Silent Prayer retreat. It was the most impactful experience in my life up to then. This is one year after my first encounter with the Black Cloud. 

Me:  Papa God, what’s on your heart today?

Papa: We haven’t talked like this for a long while. I’ve missed this with you.  I want you to know I am not mad or angry, just a little sad. I so enjoy when you and I sit and talk like this.  You give me joy. Did you know that I long for you?

Me: (I look deep into His eyes. I see only love for me.) Papa – forgive me for not allowing you to be number 1 all the time. (He smiles) Thank you for just loving me; just the way I am in all my foibles.

Papa: I love your foibles! (laughs) They are what make you who you are. You are discovering so much more about “you” in your journey, aren’t you?

Me: Yes, I am! So many things to learn and know that I think I just shut down sometimes. So, when that happens I focus more on my busyness. Sorry. This is where I need to be on my seat of rest. I know that. Even my mind needs it and knows it. You whisper, “seat of rest” sometimes, don’t you? (I shake my head) I hear it but don’t heed it.  Then, I suffer for not going there.

Papa: Yes, and there is no need to suffer. Might I encourage you to every morning – Come up and sit with Me. Listen to what I am saying to you. I sometimes sing to you. (smiles) You seem to enjoy that.

Me:  Oh my yes!  Waking up with a song in my head – humming. I haven’t really done that in a very long while. Having you sing a melody; then me trying to figure out what that melody is – to what song and then the words – is quite a fun puzzle! The journey and then the discovery! Sometimes, I am overwhelmed with how much you love me.

Papa: I want to overwhelm you with my presence. My whole being loves you. Allow me to envelop you. Allow me to be more than a part of you. Come into Me. Stand with me as a daughter. (He pauses just for a brief moment.) It will take courage. Probably more courage than you’ve ever had before. It may seem like darkness at first, but I am there, once you step through that veiled darkness. I am there in the light waiting. Come. Please come.

(I remain quiet for a few moments, taking in all that He has just spoken.)

Me: Papa – this sounds an awful like “The Black Cloud” experience that Ian Clayton had. Is this what you are asking of me?

Papa:  Yes, daughter. It is time. Are you ready?

Me: (silent for a time. I really have to dig deep down into myself for this.)

        Yes, Papa – I am ready. If I die right here and now, I will be with you. My whole being will be with you. I want to know how to live in your Presence – fully.

Papa: So, let’s do this.  Come, daughter.  Come.

I am immediately in darkness. Swirling darkness that is all around me. It is disconcerting to my whole being. I’m not sure I want to go any farther. My mind wants to turn back. Yet, my spirit says, “no, continue forward”.

The swirling around me becomes very dense. I feel like I can’t breathe. Then, I feel heat. Yes, heat; like when you are near a huge bonfire. Get too close and you may catch fire. Yet, I feel that I need to move closer to that fire. It is beckoning to me to come closer. Inch by inch and step by step I keep moving forward. Then, I come to, what appeared like a wall of fire.  I panic.

Me: God how do I get past this!?

Papa: Walk straight through it.

Me: But PAPA!  It’s fire! It will burn me up.

Papa: I am with you.  Come.

The gentleness, yet firmness of His voice is calling to me. My spirit is jumping. My mind is racing. Do I go ahead? What if I get burned up? Well, then I will be with God forever. But, I already am. What will this do to me?

My spirit whispers, “Forward”.

God says, “Come”.

I hesitate for just a moment; just a heart check. I confess all that I can think of and repent. I stand under the Blood and mercy of Jesus.

Then…I step back. “I can’t do this!”, I argue.

But, my spirit firmly says, “Enter. Now.”

Again, I hear God’s familiar voice, “Come”.

I close my eyes. I take a very long deep breath. I take one step forward I really feel the heat from the fire now. He’s calling me into the fire!

Papa: Come. 

Me: Papa, it will burn me!

Papa: Come.

So, I take another step. At this point, I am now resolved to just go. No matter what happens. I take another step forward. Now, I feel the flames licking me. The thing is, I’m at peace. I take another step forward. I am now engulfed by the flames that surround me. I literally stand there in that fire. It is not consuming my body but consuming all the lies, all the misconceptions, all the religious teaching and burning them up. Layers upon layers all being consumed.  It is a refining fire. As I now continue to walk through this refining fire, I feel lighter. I feel freedom.

Then, all at once I am past the fire. I am standing stark naked in this place I am in and I am not ashamed. This place appears to be so brilliantly white. I can’t see well. I'm not sure if I am in a room or what.

I hear, “Welcome daughter!”

At the sound of His voice, I am overcome. I fall to my knees. I cannot bear to lift my head. I sense an angel stands next to me.  I cannot look up. I am on the "floor" prostrate.

I hear Papa's voice, “Daughter, you are always welcome here. I love you so much. Few have come, but I am happy you stayed the course and came.”

My tongue is tied because I am not able to speak. I just sigh. It is contentment, joy, love, awestruck, wonderment – so many emotions flooding through me all at once. Finally, my voice returns to me.

Me: Papa – why can’t I look at you? What can’t I stand?

Papa: Daughter, you have come farther up and farther in. This is the place where I dwell in Holiness. Few have ventured here. I call them, but either they don’t listen or aren’t interested. You, however, have always been a curious one. Your wonder and ponderings about me are good. I told my creation: If you seek Me you will find Me; IF you seek me with all your being. This is why you are here. All your life you have sought me. Now, my dearest daughter, here I Am. So, rise, my daughter – Come to Me.

I lift my head. I see His robe's hem. I feel the angel help me up. He steadies me. Then, in my full nakedness, I go to Papa. He is light. He shines beyond what I have imagined. He is also golden and light. Color surrounds Him, yet I can only perceive white until my eyes become more accustom to my surroundings.

His arms are open wide as he draws me into Himself. He hugs me. He has hugged me before, but this time, it was so much deeper. It was like wrapping the wholeness of the universe around me.  All of who He is I feel. Then we talk. Just like we have always talked. Yet, there is a newness in this. Our relationship had changed. I am closer now to Papa than I have ever been before. The intimacy is overwhelmingly wonderful.

I don’t feel naked any longer, I am clothed, clothed in His Glory. I am translucent, yet light and fire are on me, like a garment. I am breathing in His fragrance and resonating His frequency. To be honest, I have no grid for any of this, but I am here.

Papa’s shalom is always. This is Joy all around. His Love (AGAPE) enveloped everything.

Me: Papa, you are good, loving, merciful, kind. You are goodness and love wrapped into the best package. You are a good, good Papa!

Papa:  So, Sue, you asked me what was on my heart today, and I didn’t answer you… Do you know now?

Me: (Tears are streaming down my face) Yes, Papa – oh yes, I do. I love you, too! I love you!  Thank you for wooing me in. Thank you.

The Molting Season

Have you ever seen a chicken or eagle or any bird really, molt?  You might ask, “What is molting?” Well, as the dictionary says:

verb (used without object)

         (of birds, insects, reptiles, etc.) to cast or shed the feathers, skin, or   the like, that will be replaced by a new growth.

verb (used with object)

             to cast or shed (feathers, skin, etc.) in the process of renewal.

Molting is rather messy.  Feathers all over the place. The birds look rather untidy.  I know because I grew up raising chickens, about 70 of them and when they molted, it was messy. However, it was a necessity for them. Their feathers lose their ability to keep water away from their skin and keep them warm.  Kind of like wearing your coat out; the outside of your coat gets all worn and thin, so then it doesn’t do what it should, like keep you warm and dry.

I am in a “molting season”.  “What?  You molt?  Sue, you don’t have any feathers.”  I know. However, it feels like my soul is in a type of molting season, like a detox-molt.  Old stuff that I have never thought of or even situations that I never thought bothered me – well, they are bothering me - really bothering me. Thus, I am irritable and a little less patient as I am working on this.

Layers upon layers of “stuff” is coming up.  My soul is “preening” the stuff off, little by little, and yet more comes up.  Once I figured out what was going on, I felt myself relax.  This really is needed.  I want to become whole and renewed.  Of course, this comes with learning about soul issues and that my man-spirit has what they call seven (7) redemptive gifts that need to be worked on and healed a bit.  It’s alright if you don’t understand.  I’m still in the process of learning and understanding all this. And by jove, I am gradually getting it!

All that and I just want to say: It is well with my soul.  Finally, after 6 decades, my soul is wanting to be whole and renewed.  That’s a good thing.  Frankly, it a messy process, with somewhat horrible added and I am not appreciating the process. But, I know the end-result will be freeing and liberating to me and probably others who are walking alongside me as I go through this.

I think having people walk with you through this type of “stuff” is most wonderful. They themselves have “gone before”, worked on their own detox-molt, and now help others. This is what the Body of Christ is for.  Instead of coming back at folks who may not be their “normal selves” with criticism - because the person going through the messy process may not even recognize it at first – stop and ask an internal question, what’s up? Then, pray for them. It really is a difficult time, yet so needed for everyone.

Papa God wants His kids whole. Jesus wants His Bride renewed and whole.  I want to be all that I know God wants me to be. Even as frustrating and messy as it is, I am submitting myself to this transformation season, because I will be flying like an eagle with a new set of wings very soon.

KINGDOM GOVERNMENT

I pondered what Jesus told me: “Your next season of learning has begun.”

You see, back in January/February 2015, I had another friend die of cancer. (That made about 5 in two years!) I had had enough. I wanted answers.  I was pretty upset. In fact, I was so upset that I was really angry at God about it.  I had prayed and prayed. Apparently my prayers don’t make a difference, or so I thought.  I railed at God, just like King David.  In that railing , I was also reminding God of how much He does loves His creation.  I kept asking God,” What is the key to all this?  There has to be a key.  What am I missing?  Please tell me!”  Well, you see, He had that key for me: Kingdom Government.

What does that mean? Well, I was soon to find out.  Two days after Jesus took me to my Mountain in heaven, I was at a conference. It was called “Deed Calls to Deep” and by the end of the week my poor head was so full.  It was at this conference I began to understand in a deeper way what Jesus had told me about my seven mountains of influence.

Let’s just say that whatever grid I had before was totally blown away by the end of the week.  As scripture was opened up to me, my spirit was starting to jump.  No butterflies whatsoever, but it was literally jumping for joy!  Everything that the conference speaker said, I listened with intensity and asking Holy Spirit for discernment - everything. 

He spoke about Kingdom Government.  How as sons and daughters of God, we are called to rule now, not when we are dead.  We all have mountains and realms of authority that we are supposed to be governing over now, not later.  He gave us so much background, not only scripture but metaphysics and other science stuff (which I sort of tuned out of, but am sure glad I got the recording).  Basically, the speaker told me the same thing that Jesus told me, but went into it in more depth.  I’m thinking that Jesus knew that this would be so overwhelming to me, so he told me ahead of time the “gist” and left the rest to be filled in.

Kingdom government is so different than what the “Church” today has in place.  In fact, what the church has in place is upside down from what it should be. I don’t wish to go into it in depth here, but suffice it to say, currently the church has it like a pyramid - top down. What Kingdom government should be like is a pyramid upside down.  We should be a reflection of Heaven, but we aren’t.

As we each step into our identity and destiny that God has for each of us, we can then begin to rule as sons and daughters of God.  That rule is taken seriously in Heaven.  Why do you think that Jesus came to earth; to just die on the cross and save us from our sins?  That is only part of it.  Remember, Jesus brought heaven to earth.

 “As you go, preach this message:

 “The kingdom of heaven is at hand.” (NIV) Matt 10:7

“Your prayers, rather, should be simple, like this:

    Our Father in heaven,
        let Your name remain holy.
     Bring about Your kingdom.
    Manifest Your will here on earth,
        as it is manifest in heaven.” (The Voice)  Matt 6:9-10

Anyway, I listened and prayed.  I realized with a bit more clarity that Jesus was the living, breathing example of HOW to live here on earth.  He showed us. The New Testament is full of his examples and the examples of the disciples.  It seems that Jesus’ mandate from the Father was: to go and live as a human being. Show them how to live and what to live for. Be their example, so that they in turn can learn to do what I show you, so that the disciples in turn can continue to learn and show how my Kingdom is to be set on earth. 

Wow.  We’ve not done a good job at our part, up to this point.  It is time to change.

I also learned that when the church does function as an upside down pyramid, Heaven invades earth more easily.

Well, on the last day we had an activation exercise.  In the spirit, I received from Jesus a beautiful carved wood box with some jewels around it.  I opened it up. There was a large key ring and on it was my first key.  

Jesus Takes Me to My Mountain

A year ago, I was talking with Papa God. As I talk with Him, I journal. This particular time with Him has changed my life. It was on April 30, 2015, just a few days before I was going to a week- long intensive conference on “The Government of Heaven, Deep Calling to Deep” with Mike Parsons. I didn't know anything about mountains and let alone Heavenly Government.

                                         ++++++++++++++++++++

Me:     What’s on your heart today, Papa?

God:    I would like you to take a walk with Jesus today. He wants to spend time with you.  (He

smiles)

Me:     Alright. (I turn and see Jesus) Hi! So, what do you want to do today?

Jesus:  (Big smile on his face.)  Yes, I want to play. Let’s go!  Take my hand and I’ll lead you.

            (He offers me his hand and I take take it.)

            I want to show you my playground.

Me:     You have a special playground?

Jesus:  (with an impish smile on his face)  Yes, I do. 

(Jesus takes me to an open space – real space - the great expanse. I am in the Universe. And it was blowing my mind!)

Me:     Whoa – this is amazing!  I feel so, so light. Wow!  There are so many stars!

(I am standing, if you want to call it that, on non-air, in space. I am not in a space suit and

 just looking at the stars.  My first thought was, “ I'm still breathing and this is off my grid.”)

Jesus:  Yes there are!  (He waves his arms to show me them.) I helped make those stars! I’m

glad you like them.  Look to your right.

Me:     What is that?  It’s beautiful. So many colors. 

Jesus:  Come let’s go to it.  (He takes my hand again, and we are in the most beautiful place…)

Me       Jesus, what is this?  The colors and the sounds are beautiful!  It’s like its singing. Wow.

            

             (The colors were amazing.  It was like being outside the Hubble telescope and looking 

             at this beautiful pattern of color.  The thing of it was, I heard sound. The sound was coming

             from the light patterns that were swirling around us. It was a symphony of sound. And once

             again my mind says, "Totally off my grid".)

Jesus:  It’s a Nebula. You’ve seen this before.

Me:     I have?  When?  I don’t remember being here before.

Jesus:  Well, you weren’t “here” before, but you saw it in Oregon, at the Observatory

in Sunriver  through a large telescope.  You said,  ”This is so beautiful. I wonder what it

looks like up close and personal?”  So, I thought it would be fun to show you.

Me:     (My jaw dropped.  I’m thinking “This is totally off my grid.”)  Okay…

Jesus:  Let’s go to another place. 

            (You would think by this time, I would be use to the "off my grid" things. Nope.)

Me:     Sure. (He takes my hand again. We are on a large mountain.)

Jesus:  We are at a special spot. What do you see?

Me:     (I’m looking around.  360◦ turn.)  What is this?  Where is this?  It’s such a beautiful

place. The colors of the grass and flowers, they are not what I would find on earth.

Amazing!  (Turning to Jesus) Why is this place special?

Jesus:  (Smiles looking directly into my eyes)  This is yours.

Me:     (I look away from His gaze and see what he is showing me and then quickly look back.

              Puzzling over what He just said.)   WHAT!?  This is mine?  How is this mine?

Jesus:  This is your area of influence, your realm, so to speak that you rule from in Heaven. 

(My mouth is open and letting flies in, if there were flies to let in.)

You are a co-heir with me, so this is part of your inheritance.

Me:     Wait. What?  My inheritance? What do you mean, “my inheritance”?

Jesus:  (He laughs)  Yes, I get that reaction a lot from folks.  (smiles and begins to explain) 

This is your mountain, from which you rule as a daughter of the King. What you see

is your kingdom where you rule.  Where you have authority.

And over here (he walks over to this sort of stone mound that had two steps ) is your

throne.

(There a chair was perched upon a mound of carved rock – a most beautiful chair.  It was gold and silver that was intricately woven, very much like filigree. There was flora and fauna woven into that chair. Expertly woven by a Master.  On top of the chair, where it curved was a blue orb like thing. The cushions to sit upon and the back were made of velvet and the most beautiful blue I’ve ever seen. The blue in those cushions changed to different hues of blue-a thousand colors of blue swirled.)

Me:     That’s (I paused and swallowed)  my throne?

(My mind was racing.  I have a throne in heaven. I’m seeing a throne. Jesus says that this is my throne.  I’m in heaven! AND ... I'm not dead.  This is so off my grid….)

Jesus:  Yes.  Now, go and sit.

(I walked carefully up the two steps and turned facing Jesus. I hesitated for just a moment looking at Jesus. The warmth in His eyes and love overwhelmed me. He gave an encouraging nod and I sat upon the throne. What happen when I sat, I was not expecting.)

Me:     Oh my goodness.  Wow.  (I look at Jesus.)  I feel – at peace here. It fits me and I’m  

            home.  Oh so comfortable.

Jesus:  (smiling)  Did you notice the change in your clothing?

Me:     (puzzled)  My clothes? 

(I had been wearing my jeans, tee shirt and tennis shoes, I thought.

I look down. What I saw totally blew my mind. I gasped. I locked eyes with Jesus.)

I’m wearing the dress: That beautiful dress that was in my dream and a crown!

(The dress was made of a material that was flowing. It was empire style and the

dress/skirt  part were the colors of 1000 hues of blues!  The colors flowed and changed

constantly. The bodice was made of silver thread - pure silver thread woven intricately with cap sleeves. There was a train of some sort. It had the blue hues, but also woven in was gold and silver threads. The silver and gold were also woven in a brocade along the edges of the train.  Breathtaking.  The crown was unlike anything I have ever seen. It wasn’t gaudy.  It was like my throne; intricately woven filigree of gold and silver, of flora and fauna with gemstones of which some I recognized and some I did not.  There were 12 of them. The crown shimmered.)

Jesus:  This is who you are here in Heaven.  You are a true ruler. You have authority. You are a

 daughter of the High King. I want you to begin now seeing yourself this way. As a ruler,

 any declarations or decrees that are made from your throne is always in Love and from

 Father’s heart.  Here is where you come to your seat of rest. The authority that you have

 is growing in you.  The more you grow in your intimacy with Father, the more authority

 you are given.  You will find that your prayer life will be changing.

Me:     So, when I pray or Intercede, I am standing or sitting here on my throne, in this outfit,

with full authority.  Do you stand with me when I’m here?

Jesus:  Yes to your first question. You are a co-heir. We partner together for the good of the

            Kingdom. That means we do what the Father says. It is like when I was on earth. What I

            did, I did only because I saw my Father do it first. So it is for you as well.

            As for your second question, I am with you always.  You also have the Angelic Orders

that will help you as well.  You partner with them.  They are ready to serve and are

chewing at the bit to get work done.  (He smiles).

Remember the prayer I taught the first disciples?   “Our Father who is in Heaven, holy is

your name. Your Kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven”? That

means what is done here will eventually manifest on earth.  The Kingdom – it is now on

earth. Father’s will is to be carried out by the co-heirs on earth.  That is you.

Me:     Funny, I know this, but when you say it that way, it makes me stop and ponder. How I

pray and what I pray has a more real impact or outcome.  That’s a power.  However, I

need to be careful how that power is wielded.  Right?

Jesus:  Yes.  When you speak, Heaven listens.  You have been given much. Now is the time to

learn more so that you will be even more equipped to rule from your throne.  Just

remember:  I am always with you.  Holy Spirit is always around to give you counsel and

wisdom. He can also guide you. Be reverent in all you do for the Kingdom. I am not

being stodgy, but have a clear understanding and a true “Fear of the Lord”.  This is not a game.  This is Real Life.

Do you see the seven mountains in the distance?  Those are your mountains of influence. Those are areas in your life that you have authority over. If you notice, there are some of the enemy on those mountains.  They will need to be cleaned off, so that order will come.

Me:     Cleaned off?  I have to get rid of those bad nasties by myself?  I’m not sure I can do that.

Jesus:  (He chuckles and smiles) You have the help of Heaven at your beck and call, pretty much. The angels will help you. Be wise and ask Holy Spirit. He will give you guidance.  You will learn much on this journey.  You won’t be able to conquer this in a day.

(He winks)  Be patient with yourself.  This is all new to you. 

This just means you will be here now more often than not. That is a good thing.  We’ve been waiting.  Your next season of learning has begun.

My Transformation Begins

I was listening to a talk about Jesus' love.  How much He loves us and desires us.

As I listened, I closed my eyes because I didn't wish to be distracted. I felt the need to place my hand over my own heart. As I did, my hand became burning hot - not just warm. I could feel the burn, but it was good.  It hurt a bit, but it wasn't destructive.

The more the speaker spoke about how much God really loves us, how much He wants to spend time with us - my heart wanted to BURST. Tears began to well up in my eyes and then flowing down my face. I didn't care. All I wanted was to come closer to Jesus.

This is on a completely different level of relationship than in the past. It is more - I don't know - more engaging, more real.  My heart was burning; like fire - it was hot.

Yet, my whole being was at peace. I told Jesus that I give him my whole heart. I wanted to be "in" Him totally. I told him to take it. Just give me more of yourself.

I then saw in my mind, the eyes of Jesus. With tears streaming down my face, I saw Jesus' eyes looking at me with pure Love. Wow, I am undone! In those eyes were: Gentleness, Love, Desire.  I wanted to gaze into those eyes forever.

I can't really explain it:  A peace that is fully Shalom. Love as I've never really experienced before. My whole being was intertwined with Jesus as He took my heart and held it. Gently He held my heart and as He did, He poured Himself into it.

Mystical ecstacy.

 I had lost myself in Him. I knew in that moment - my transformation had begun. I can never ever turn back. 

Intercessory Prayer

Intercessory prayer has at times gotten a bad reputation. I am an intercessor and my journey in prayer over the years has been, let's say somewhat mundane. I went on a personal search for MORE of God. I wanted to connect with Him in a really initmate way, but had no idea how that worked or even what it looks like.

Back in April 24, 2014 I discovered what some would call "Papa God's heart". Here is an excerpt from that day's journal.

........
This morning I was listening to a guy on YouTube, Robert Henderson. He was talking about "The Courts of Heaven".  He was talking about how intercessory prayer is actually taking something to Heaven's court.  I have also been reading more on intercessory prayer; different types of prayer for different things.

From the deepest place of my being, I began interceding on behalf of my church.  I began standing in on the church body's behalf and as I did, began repenting for being cynical and having hardened hearts. I asked forgiveness for losing the passion and fire of the relationship with God. I repented of pride and selfishness. I repented of putting our own desires before God's heart desire.  From the depths of my being I cried- weaping for our church.

You see we had become a "Nazereth". Our hearts had become hardened where God couldn't move corporately; in some individuals they were still open, but no more.

Then, I began declaring that we would seek God with a passion. I declared we would once  again have that fire in our hearts for God's heart; not seeing our own, but His. I declared we would have a new found Joy in Him; where our passion lies in a direct line with God's.  I declare that our church would begin to walk in the destiny that God showed me in a vision a year and a half earlier:  A Lighthouse to the City of Seattle. The power which comes diectly from God to the church, then flows out of each of us to the four corners.

I then began praying for the City of Seattle. My stomach hurt because of God's great sadness and hurt. I felt His sadness and great love for the city.  He wants to heal this city. I began repenting for the sins of the forefathers here in government. The people's prejudices and slavery. My heart literally hurt, because God's heart hurt. I asked God to forgive them because they didn't know what they were doing.

At this point, I began to place Gates of Protection around the city, especially for May 1st. I declared that Seattle would walk in the destiny God has called this city to. I asked Holy Spirit to hover over and around our city leaders and council. I asked protection for our police and fire departments. I repented for the lies and deception from the police leaders. I asked for clarity of truth, that they would not listen to deception and lies.

I also prayed for our nation and it's leaders. I repented on their behalf for turning away from God and listening to the evil one. I asked that we would hear God's truth far above all the lies and follow the voice of His truth.

I haven't wept like that since I went to Bethel. Then, I was released and my heart and stomach didn't hurt anymore. I actually felt lighter!

Amazing things I'm learning for the Kingom. I want to go deeper and God is taking me deeper.

Praise God from whom all blessings flow,
Praise Him all creatures here below.
Praise Him above, ye Heavenly Host.
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost.

AMEN

In Solitude I Seek Him

In Solitude

I seek the Father

Standing alone,

Yet not alone.

In Solitude

I seek refreshment

Standing still,

Yet moving.

In Solitude

I seek Creation,

To show me

A creative Father.

In Solitude

I seek revelation,

Scriptures enlightened

A Savior.

In Solitude

I find the Father

Standing with me,

Always with me.

In Solitude

I seek Him

I find Him

I know Him.

The Black Cloud

I am at a place once again, where I sense I need to go over a wall.  This wall is a bit higher than the last one.  I keep searching for stairs or steps or even a key to unlock a hidden door.

Papa God, are you leading me over the wall?  Are you holding out a “carrot” so to speak to entice me to follow you?  I know you are near, and yet I don’t sense your presence.  This unsettles me.

“I am hear, daughter.”

I feel lost Papa. I want more of YOU:  More of who you are, more of your presence, more of your glory, more, more, more!  I am yours.  All of who I am is yours.

I know there is electricity, frequency and light that is you. And yet, I have to ask, Who are you God? 

I seek you, but I’m afraid I am not getting anywhere. 

Who am I, Lord? 

I know, who I am, more today than I did yesterday.

I am more aware. Please heighten my spirit to be more sensitive to You and Your presence. I want your presence to permeate through me and around me so that others will become affected by your Spirit.  Let me leak your Holy Spirit.  I wish to change the atmosphere around me.  You know, bring Heaven to Earth.

Papa, I hear of this Black Cloud, which is You – the fiercest part of You. Is that true?

“Yes.”

May I approach it?

“Yes, yet one must be careful.”

Can I walk into that fierce Black cloud that is You?

“Are you ready to meet that part of Me?  Are you willing to die for me?”

Wait, “die for you”?   Physically die?  Die to myself, die?  What do you mean?

“Are you willing to give up all of  who you are?  Are you willing to surrender your whole being to Me?  Are you willing?”

I don’t know.  I want to say that I am.   Can I walk into it?  I’m not sure. Am I ready, Lord?

“I am here, daughter.  When you are ready to come, I am here.  Once you come, you will be changed. There is no going back.”