When
I began "my journey off the tracks" from religion, I could not imagine what that
would look like. A person prepares for a
journey. You make a list and check it twice just so you don’t forget
something. Especially, when taking a
long journey to an unknown place, you what to be prepared, right? Well, let me just say that preparing for a
deeper relationship with the Creator is not your normal journey!
In
May of 2017, I wrote in my journal:
“Up
until now, I never realized that my spirit has been so far ahead of my soul. My
soul is not sure what to make of the “stuff” I am experiencing in the spirit
realm. New ideas and far out there off the grid “stuff”. I’ve been “off the
grid” for a while but never thought that my dear soul was having such issues.
Working through my spirit, soul, and body
gateways, while mentoring/teaching is also a journey. It is not just a process. I think that’s one thing I am learning. It’s
all a journey. There are processes along the way to help us along.
Transformation
is hard. Why? Well, you have to go through ALL the baggage you have carried
your whole life and take care of it. This means letting go of:
Bitterness
and forgiving. Looking at circumstances or situations where I have said yes to
the enemy and no to God. Own it and then allow Papa God to restore. Yes, some
of that is what people call “soul issues” but it is because I allowed the soul
to be in charge and not my spirit-man.
I’m
also learning to “Bless my Spirit” to be who she should be. To remember her
identity and purpose for being here. If my spirit-man is working fully then m
soul can be at rest. There is no striving, just being. And that makes sense since we are “Human-Beings and not Human-Doings”. If you’d like some help with
this, I suggest reading Sylvia Gunter & Arthur Burk’s book “Blessing your
Spirit”. You can find it on Amazon.
There
is also seeing and acknowledging where I have traded with the enemy. This has been difficult because of some of the “tendencies”
are generational. So, that means working closely with Papa God and working
through that. Papa shows me where the trade happened, with whom and what was
traded. Now, this can be an eye-opener. Though ugly at times, it is definitely freeing.
Where
to start? Well, the easiest and yet most difficult is at the beginning of my
life. Yup, all the way back to my conception.
You
see, I am adopted. From what I have
gathered without any DNA testing, my birth mother got pregnant out of wedlock either in her late teens or early 20’s in the mid-1950s. That was totally taboo
being single and pregnant. So, typically, the person would either adopt out or
have an abortion (which was illegal then and not safe at all). I don’t know if
she consented or not. But I have the sense she was “in love”. However, the
realization of being with child was scary for her. She had to give me up.
This
of course, leaves me with questions. Where is she? Who is she? Who is my birth father? Did he know about me?
Are these people still living or are they dead now?
What
did my birth parents enjoy doing? Did they sing? Were they artistic in any way?
I want to know where I got my artistic abilities. Did God just give them to me,
or did I inherit them? Questions… I have had them for a very long time but
never had the impetus to find out. I am curious though. I have always been a curious person.
My
Mom and Dad told me at a very early age that “I was chosen” for them. They
chose me to be their daughter. They loved me unconditionally, even when I
failed to meet their expectations. They treated me with love and discipline so
that I would grow up and mature as an adult. I think they did a very good job.
I
have a greater sense that God placed me with them specifically. These two
individuals had so much love for each other and me and my three sisters who were
also adopted. Together Mom and Dad
reflected God’s loving image to me. I miss them very much.
So,
my transformation process/journey has also been sweet. It’s going back and
seeing those beautiful moments of growth over the years. The remembrance of
the little things that actually have made a huge difference in where I am
today.”
I
encourage anyone reading this, to step before the Father and ask him to begin
the transformation process in your life.
Like I said, it is not easy and at times ugly, but the healing that
comes from that process makes the journey even sweeter as you step more into
the deep with God.
