Musings on Relationship with Father

I find myself at a “stall” point in my life and not sure why. Well, maybe I do know: I am seeking more of the Creator God with whom I have a wonderful relationship. I sense, however, being called to deeper waters of that relationship. I previously thought I was in deep waters. Now as I look – what do you know - I’m still in the shallow part.

I want to learn how to surf the deep and dive in and just be in the deep.  I’m struggling - not drowning - but I can’t seem to settle my inner most self. I am antsy and unrest. It’s a need for more.  Maybe there is in my spirit a knowing of that more and I just haven’t figured it out yet.  It’s a need to be able to just go somewhere – no cars, no technology, no people – to be able to scream and primordial scream from the very depths of my soul. It’s a cleansing of sorts.

Yes, a pure cleansing is what I am seeking. I don’t mean just a cleanse for my body, though I know I need that, but a deeper cleansing; deeper into my soul and my spirit. Going deeper still into the very core of my DNA. Can that happen God?  If so, I am asking for this.

How can I be a son/daughter of the True High King and not be cleansed? I know I have been forgiven of sin. That isn’t the issue. So, I sit here and write out whatever comes to my mind wrestling like Jacob at Bethel. But unlike Jacob, I wish to stay at Bethel.  Where is Bethel?  The place of an open Heaven, where the angels are ascending and descending to and from Heaven, where is that place?

From what I understand, I carry an open Heaven with me 24/7.  I know this for a fact: Jesus died, was resurrected, descended into Hell and ascended to Heaven. He sits at the right hand of the Father on the throne as the Son of God, the only begotten of the Father who is in Himself, God. His Holy Spirit lives inside me, thus God dwells or rather tabernacles within my being. In that case, I carry an open Heaven with me all the time. Ah, but the catch is this: Do I manifest His Presence?  If I do, then I carry Bethel with me, it is not just a place.

Practically then, how do I live this?  Ah, that’s the other catch. Learning to be “present” with the “Presence” is key. Not every believer knows this. In fact, a lot have not truly experienced His Presence.  Sadly, they miss out on quite a lot in their relationship with the Father.

In order for us to have a relationship with anyone or even anything, there is emotion attached. It was there when you met your spouse or with family and friends. It is also God given, so that we can relate in an emotional way to our Father in Heaven. Yup, being a believer for over 45 years, I am truly “in love” with my Father in Heaven. I sense His touch at times and it overwhelms me. I have heard His voice and it was like hearing the sweetness of a lover. I have conversations with Him as I journal. He is real. He is living and breathing on each one of us, because He loves us. I crave just the time to be with Him.

My heart aches for you to just be wooed by God. He does this gently and with respect to you. He woos us to Himself. He will never force himself on us. There’s a quiet wooing calling to us. If we actually stopped for a time and listened, we can hear that call.

You see, God created us to be free, independent and loving beings. We were the ones that messed that all up by disobeying in the Garden. God created us with free will. That was a gift to Mankind/Adam. Free - Will.  Free:  to be the person we were created to be as well as having the opportunity to choose good or evil. Will:  to make a decision whether right or wrong on our own.

Think about that. Our Creator, God, created us and breathed life into us and to be with Him for eternity; to partner with Him in the Kingdom here on earth. What a wonderful life! Can you imagine: to be in the very presence of God, to walk with Him daily, having conversations with Him, to be loved beyond anything we can imagine. What a beautiful life - being stewards of the earth and the creatures on it.

That relationship, unfortunately, has been broken. When Eve listened to another, other than God, she and Adam disobeyed what God had asked and brought Eden out of our reach. Not only did they give away their Key of Authority they had in the Garden, they broke the Love covenant between themselves and God. This was the Great Divorce: to be exiled from the Garden of Eden – away from the very presence of God.

Divorce hurts both parties. I have friends who either have gone through divorce or have parents who have. To be very blunt, it sucks.  Words of anger and hurt are thrown back and forth at each other. Pride, mistrust and fear enter into their lives. Poor communication inhabits the relationship.  What started out to be a wonderful, loving relationship ends - ugly.

The Great Divorce was like this – only it was man who backed out of the Love covenant. When God went looking for Adam and Eve in the Garden, after eating the apple, I wonder - if Adam and Eve had only said, “God, here we are. But we ate from the Tree of Good and Evil. We know you told us not to. Please forgive us for doing that.”  What do you think God would have done?  I’m not sure, but if His nature is to be loving, kind and just, He may have forgiven them.

BUT – Adam and Eve did not. They hid from God. They did not repent and Pride raised its ugly head.

So, God exiled Adam and Eve as well as the rest of their descendants out of the Garden.  Man is cursed to toil in his labors and women in child bearing. Adam and Eve were escorted out and God shut the Garden gate and left it guarded by angels, so they could not return.

That disobedience has affected our relationships since then. But God, in his extravagant love, sent Jesus – His one and only Son – to come to earth to restore that relationship.  Amazing, don’t you think?  God the Creator of all on this earth and the universe loved us that much.

Jesus’ assignment from the Father: Go to earth. Leave your divinity behind. Be born of a woman. Grow up as a human being, but live sinless. Teach a bunch of regular guys how to live in the Kingdom of God. Show them how it’s done; mentor them, and love them, so that you can die a cruel death on a cross. You must die without sin in your life, in order to go to the depths of hell and bring back the Keys of Authority that Adam gave away when he disobeyed Me in the Garden. Once that is accomplished, show them what they must do to spread the Kingdom. Then, you will return to Heaven and sit at the right hand of your Father.

This is True Love: that God would sacrifice His only Son just to bring us back into a relationship with Him.  He missed us! Like a lover waiting ever so long to see the one they love. To be able to see them, touch them and talk with them; beginning once again, where the relationship left off - only building on it in a vastly deeper way.

Here then begins the journey: the journey in a love relationship with the Creator of the Universe. 

Levi's Journey

   Some of you know that I facilitate a Faith Gathering group that meets once a month. We have been meeting now for two full years and now going onto our third!  In that time, one of our folk, Levi, was set up by God for some pretty amazing encounters with Him.  Levi has given me permission to share. Let me give a breif run down.

   I met Levi in 2013 with his dad, Lew, whom I've known for a while. Lew was in the theater community that I was active in.  Well, Lew brought Levi to a coffee discussion time. Levi was pretty much to himself, yet observing all that was said and done that day.  The next time that a coffee date was set, Levi came again, and again, and again.  Each time he opened up more.  Then the gatherings began. He was in his "shell in the corner" observing once again. He had been dissolutioned by Christianity because for him, even as a child, what was taught seemed trite and wrong. Where was the power of God?  Also, he is a seer and that was pushed away. So, he went into his "shell".

 Then, in November 2013, God set him up and Levi has not been the same since. Hungry for God. Hungry to know himself. Then, having to stand before God and be transformed is, for most of us, a pretty scary thing. Levi did it.  God is transforming him. It is amazing.

   Levi sent me this email on May 15, 2015. So I wish to share it with you.  Be encouraged. Be blessed. I sure was!

HI SUE! 

    I think I'm sending an email because I'm excited.  No formulaic reason beyond that.  Papa will probably put it to use, or at least you'll laugh. 

    My angel's English name is Ben.  Papa says he's a warring/warrior angel for my protection.  I could be mistaken, I often doubt anything Papa says that's beyond my comprehension.  Any affirmations you could send my way would be appreciated. 

    Before you go thinking that means I'm listening to you over Papa, let me try and describe what we did after introductions.  I was talking with Papa about the implications of what ever we had discussed today, the tension of thinking I'd made progress with the alternative being literally BEING with Papa, which is the point but rarely feels like what I call progress...  Also Praying Medic's book, "Seeing in the Spirit Made Simple" arrived and I started reading it.  I stopped at the warnings in chapter four, which are basically Beware: Pre-Wall Christian Stigma (the milk-drinkers distress), and the Non-Godly Motivations for seeing in the spirit, which with an unrefined heart can leave you more and more exposed to the enemy, like a child receiving their inheritance too soon to make responsible use of it, so I stopped and had dinner, then we got back to it.

    Papa was asking why I wanted my sight back.  I played with a few ideas I had experienced on Nov 10th, one being I got rid of the nasties I encountered, because I could see/feel them and that is cause for war, and two I felt Papa all the time, plus Autumn Lane was like swimming in a cross between honey, a summer brook, and the clouds all at once, but made of light, and I like that tangibility.  Intangibility is partly why I think too much, there is no other way to encounter what can not be encountered. 

    Then after dinner Papa and I continued our discussion.  I laid in my bed, closed my eyes, and called on the Almighty.  I've been led around throughout this journey, to date, either by enticement or terror, but tonight I called on the Almighty. 

    I often say I don't see things but instead feel them.  Well, behind my eyelids I got the Distance feeling, and from my earthly body too, like zooming out until they're really small, in a tactile way. 

    I stood before My Father, I called Him by the names He has revealed to me in Our journey.  I announced myself by what I really am, not a human, not a self, not a man born on Dawson Street, America, who joined one of these religious clubs just because.  I was His created Creation, and by Adoption, His own son.  I felt as alien to human as we oft imagine the angels to be, like a science fiction frankenstein, but without the human error. 

    Then I started taking off my armors, note the plural.  He said nothing, I was approaching Him, a first, and doing it on proper terms with ancient names, Primordial Names, First Names.  I realized He'd taken my black blood crusted sword, but never the armors.  I didn't pull out text-book statements or even declarations, I took Him as Real.  I said I take them off.  One after another, some of betrayal, some of response to betrayal, some demonic, some invisible, some of pain, some of senselessness to pain, some of prowess, some of battle-bought dignity, some of human make and some not. 

    I stood before My God, naked in spirit, thin, scarred, weak, raw, totally vulnerable and not even concerned with it. 

    "What do you want?" He asked.  A lot of thought goes into moments like this, but the journey had been my thoughts.  A lot of people wonder what they would ask, and you never know until the Journey has scrapped it all away. 

    "Love me." 

    It began to build, but soon I was contorted with expression I have longed for years to know again.  I told Him "Look at my scars," and He did.  I didn't want justice.  "Not vindication or revenge, but love.  Mock them with Love."  He did.  "Look what the enemy did to me."  He did. 

    "What else do you want?" 

    "I want to love as you do."  Interspersed with more expressive interruptions.  "Make me whole again.  I want to love." 

    I officially asked for a spirit tongue around this point.  I don't usually officially ask, I just start babbling, but on occasions such as this asking officially really sets it all straight.  During the armors I'd opened my coat, vest, and pulled up my shirt in the physical.  Now I reached for my heart. 

    "Take hold of your heart, speak love to it, call it out, back, up, wake it up from slumber."  So I did in my tongue, Our tongue. 

    "As a woman has a womb, so your heart shall birth love, barren, fallow, no more.  Love will be born, and life.  As a Father for his Sons, a Brother for his Brothers, a Man for his Countrymen, teaching and love you will give to my children, your family, and the world.  I will take your words around the world." 

    We spoke a lot.  He'd ask things in English, I'd answer in Leyshu.  We were just Being together.  We spoke to my breath, to Peace, to Love, to Hope, to Joy, to my Life.  He gave me these things and I inhaled them, a thing we've done before.  Then we were just talking. 

    After that I named my brother Evan, Ebentirr, Most Precious One!  Most Cherished One!  Protected One!  Glorious Light!  In Leyshu, exclamations included.  Then I went and gave him a hug I haven't been able to for ten years.  He doesn't know his new name yet, as it should be.  Then I went and wrote this up since I'm excited.  Heh... 

    If Papa says somebody can learn from this, Sue, feel free to send it places.  I just see Him like happy thoughts and Christ on the Water. 

    Oh, and tomorrow I have the house to myself and He said we'd talk about a lot more. 

    I forgot, was it before or, no, after I spoke love to my heart and was talking in Leyshu, I came to a point where I had to sing.  I've sung some in the Sanctuary up at my church, drawn along, kind of nervously, and thought it was neat.  He had me sing to my heart...  Totally different.  I think it's connected to how I came to Him, not He called to me.  This was the first time I sought Him out AND stood before Him.  Before it was one OR the other, kind of, and usually at His behest as he shoo's me along like a duckling across a street.  This has got to be the first time I really felt my age, an impressive event for one who got steamrolled from the inside out. 

    That's about it I figure.  Glad to hear you had such fun at the Something-Something for a week or so.  Thanks for sharing, and for inviting us for coffee and lunch. 

    Oh, and one other thing...  Something about Counting the Omer, the fifty days between Passover and Pentecost, which we are in the middle of at present, and how to move ahead in Seeing was to be refined by the Holy Spirit, and how Counting the Omer is a time of refining, and how a lot of things are happening this year, to many to put down here but they all match up one after another, so thanks for coffee today!  You dislodged a lot and got me talking with Papa. 

   Love you Sis,
    Levi

The Blow of the Shofar part 2

Whew!!!  After that I was stunned. I had an assignment from Papa.   One could imagine, I was kind of anxious about the whole thing.   The evening before, I was in prayer about the next day when I had to blow the ram's horn. I heard Papa God tell me that it was alright to invite two specific friends to come with me. One was to bring a drum, the other would read the declarations after I blew the ram's horn.  So I contacted them. They were thrilled to come and be a part of this.  Then Papa gave me specific instructions as to what to say and when to say it.

Five declarations were to be made; one right after each blow of the Ram's horn.

I typed them as I was inspired by the Holy Spirit.

So, my friends and I went to Golden Gardens down near Shilsho in Ballard. It was a beautiful sunny Spring day. I had thought that there would be many people down there walking or just soaking in the sunlight. I was wrong!  We arrived about 9:40am.  There were just a handful of folks.  We walked out in the sand toward the water.  Found a spot that "felt right" and sat and talked and prayed.

At 10:06 am, March 5 I blew the Ram's horn per the instructions of my Papa God.  The drum that my friend brought was played as well, as the Holy Spirit led.  These were the declarations made:

First BLOW:

We praise you Oh God, for you are good.

Your Mercy endures forever.

We praise you Oh God, for you are Loving.

You have lavished your love upon us.

We praise you Oh God, for you have given us Salvation.

Your Son, Jesus Christ – Messiah.

We praise you Oh God, for the Keys of Authority.

Your Son, Jesus bought with his blood on the Cross.

We praise you Oh God, for you give council.

Your Holy Spirit gives us Wisdom and Knowledge that only comes from you.

SECOND BLOW:

Oh Father, our city, our state, our region has sinned against you and you only.

As the representative with the authority given by Jesus through His blood on the cross, we repent of our sins.  We know that you are the One True God.  Forgive us for going against what you want us to do and be.  Forgive us for turning from our identity that is in you. Forgive us from fulfilling the destiny that you have for this city, this state, this region.

We come before you with repentant hearts. Forgive our political  leaders, for they don’t know what they do. Forgive your church, for we have stepped into ignorance.  Help us to turn back and wake up and know who you are. Cleanse this city, this state, this region so that we may walk in the Kingdom as we were created to do.

THIRD BLOW:

We declare that all that is dark and against the LIGHT of Truth will be brought into that LIGHT.  Shine on the evil and reveal its secrets. Do not let deception and lies rule.  You are God and Truth.  Let the darkness be revealed in Your Light of Truth. Witchcraft and all that comes with it is to be revealed in Your LIGHT.  We cover ourselves with your Light and Protection. No evil may befall us or our families.  Father, reveal to the government officials of the darkness that they have allowed in.  We reject that darkness, in the Name of Jesus. The Angels standing with us this day and always are our protection from the darkness.  No more shall the darkness deceive and lie. No more shall depression and worry abound.  We reject those in Jesus’ name.

FOURTH BLOW:

We pray protection over our government leaders. Close their ears and hearts to the enemy. Close them so they may not hear the voice of the evil one or his minions.  We ask that you protect them from the evil one and their whisperings. Let them hear Your Voice and see Your Truth and Light.

We pray protection over our church leaders. Close their ears and hearts to the enemy. Close them so they cannot hear the whisperings of empty Religion. Open their ears to the Truth and Light of the One who created them.  Let them hear Your Voice, Oh God and not the enemy.

 

FIFTH BLOW:

As you, the Lord of Hosts have stated:

I AM GOD.

I will break through from heaven and call out to earth to listen to Me.   

Stand firm.  Do not waiver from the left or the right.

I am the Truth.  I am your Creator.

Wake up!

I AM YOUR GOD. 

During the Third Declaration, a cold wind and presence was felt on my right side. I ignored it and focused on the declarations and also remembered that God told me not to waiver and just stand firm. When the Fourth Declaration was made, that presence fled. It was weird.   Now, after the Fifth Declaration at the end, the waves became louder and louder. It was so odd, because there were no boats or wind that should cause that to be.  Prior to the declarations, there were no waves really, no sound of waves.  There were no boats on the water that would cause waves.

I am still pondering this assignment that was given.  I certainly felt the presence of God with us, as well as the enemy nearby.  We broke something in the spiritual realm.  I cannot begin to tell what that was, but a shift of some sort happened. All I know is, I did what Papa God asked of me to do.

Also, March 5th of this year was Purim. The Jewish feast of Esther.  Just thought I'd mention that.

 

The Blow of the Shofar part 1

In my journey with God, I have to say that at times, it is kind of scary. I have to ask myself once in a while, is it all worth it?  In the end, I say a resounding,  YES!  

The end of February 2015, I was just doing "stuff" and I heard the word, "Shofar". I thought to myself, "What?".  I sort of dismissed it, but then again, a couple of hours later, I heard it again, "Shofar".  Well, that made me stop.  I asked Papa God, was that you.  All I got was a smile.  The Shofar is a ram's horn. It can be anywhere from 12" to 6 feet in length.  It is blown in worship in the Messianic church, and it was also used by the Watchman in biblical times.

I have a friend who owns a small ram's horn.  We had used it in a production of "Godspell" back in 2008. So I borrowed it. Didn't know why at the time, but I suspected that God had something up His  sleeve and I wanted to be prepared. If He didn't, then I was not out anything, but get to practice blowing that ram's horn.

The day after I received the ram's horn from my friend, I was in the shower and saw a Hebrew letter from  their alphabet. I had my eyes closed, due to the fact I was washing my hair at the time, and the letter was emblazened in white light.  I blinked and blinked again.  It was still there.  Thus, the letter was embedded in my memory.  Now, I am not familiar with the meanings of the letters, so headed to the internet for information.  Well, low and behold it was a Resh "  ." ר

The Hebrew symbol means "First, Top, Beginning".  Well, that was a puzzle piece.

On March 2, I was sitting with my journal.  I just felt at peace. What came during my conversation with Papa God was another level in my journey.
-------------------------------------

Me:     Papa, what’s on your heart today?

Papa:   (smiles)  Glad you asked!  That ram’s horn I whispered to you and what you are to use it for and why.

Me:     Okay – I was wondering about that.

P:         First off, let’s go for a walk. I like and enjoy our walks together.

M:       Sure. I do as well! (He smiles)  So, what is with the shofar/ram’s horn?

P:         (He looks at me with a wry grin) We will get to that.  I want to say that you are to stand firm in your faith.  Don’t step to the right or left. Don’t waiver.  Be strong and draw close to me as you’ve never done before. Do you understand that? (He looks imploringly to me)

M:       (Tenative) I think so, Papa. Am I going to go through even more difficulties!? – Sorry – show me or tell me what you mean.

P:         It is more like this:  Are you willing to look foolish to the world and even to your Christian friends?  Are you willing to take a step of real Faith in Me?  (Looks at me lovingly)

M:       Papa, I’m not sure what you are asking me to do, but are you saying I may be labeled a freak or outcast?  (He waits for my answer) (I swallow)  I love you Papa. “Though I walk through the Valley of the Shadow, you are always with me.”  So, yes.   You make me brave, Papa.

P:         (smiles) Good.  I have an assignment for you. Thank you for going and getting the shofar ahead of time. You have already stepped out in faith.

Now, at sunrise on the Full Moon this month March 5 at 10:06 am, I want you to blow the horn down by the water – the Puget Sound. Blow it and Praise Me.  Blow it and intercede for the city where you live. No more shall the enemy bring witchcraft into the city. Blow for the leaders in the city for they have gone and listened to the enemy. Blow the horn for I am God. I will break through from Heaven and call out to earth to listen to Me. Stand firm, dear one. I will be with you in this.  Call to others to blow the horn in different places – Praising Me as they do. This will break strongholds that have begun to form. This will loose the hold of the enemy. Blow the horn 5 times so my Grace will abound.

Do you understand what I’m asking of you?

M:       Ah… I believe so.

P:         I have given you authority here. Not only in your city, not only in your state, but in this region where you live. This is one of those times – I ask you to combat the enemy – but in a different manner.  Put on the armor I give you. You will stand firm in Me. You will not waiver. I will give you the strength to stand and blow the horn.  This is very important.  Can you do this?

M:       Yes, Papa I can.  Let the angelic hosts surround me as I go forth on this assignment giving me protection and cover.  I will do as you say.  You are my Lord, my King. I serve you as your daughter, and as your daughter I will carry your authority upon me.  The horn will be blown as you say, 5 times.

P:         Good. You are such a wonder and I love you.  You are strong of heart and what you do will be showing compassion on those around you.  Blow the horn – in Love. I go with you in this.  Jesus will stand beside you as you blow the horn.  Now, it is time to prepare.

..........to be continued